HNK Compression Socks
Welcome Avatar! It’s a sunny day here on the island. The flowers are blooming, the animals are dancing and April is a month dedicated to trolling. No greater time to be alive!
So how are we (Pinto & Pingu) spending the holiday?
Well: 1) forcing ourselves to relax and 2) writing this post for you! Time travel transmissions require sign-off from Citadel Command, so if you’re reading this…..Bless Up Slime.
Ooof said too much. Just know Clowns are backed by ‘Tism stronger than a retard’s grip on toy trains.
Now let’s finish what we started.
Is it a coincidence this whole idea came to us in a dream? Nah. ‘Twas.
———
All Clowns on Deck
Let’s keep it 100, there are way too many dewbs in crypto. Simply owning an NFT does *not* guarantee total access & privilege. Sure, you might get inside the Jedi Temple, but no chance you stumble into the Council.
Clowns are an inside club — a club where we *don’t care* about Clowns the NFT at all. We do however care about Clowns the Network.
A group of highly autistic and hilarious cartoons with a sick knowledge base that you can tap into anytime. That’s Clowns. And the more valuable the network — the higher we go (sorry no free lunch). Contribute or go back to Europe.
BowTied Cartoons are the definition of Anti-Fragile. And we didn’t come to take part, we're here to take over 😈
Clown market cap is directly correlated to the success of its owners. In other words: Clowns are cool…..when they’re owned by Elite Anons (yes you!) who don’t care at all about the clown anymore. Funny how that works huh?
Plus Clowns are genuinely fun when you have absolute Chads running the show. Not letting finance bros or art school dropouts & their soyboy simps bleed out our beloved Clownmasks. Either way, it will be totally worth the memories & friends. 👯♀️
Why We Clown
As incoming homeless cartoons, we have an opportunity to impact art and culture globally. With reality turning into a full circus, the universe is desperately asking for someone to contribute beauty back into the world.
It’s time we bring back classic, genuine, unfiltered comedy through trolling and pull off perhaps the most poetic practical joke (Banks Are Zeros!!!)
In return, we get to laugh and have fun with fellow BowTieds. You didn’t work so hard to save all your money being frugal. It’s okay to enjoy a little, especially when promoting your own project.
Bonus points when we team up with *cartoon creators* to supply their products to the community. Win and help win.
You don’t wanna turn into those weird money worshippers. Clowns are the ROI. Clowns are the cure. Very few.
Okay now that we’re done with the serious part, let’s boot up DemonSlayer.exe and see how Flagrant we can get on 1 Red Bull. *Takes shirt off* 👹
Nurses & Healthcare Staff
Now you may be wondering “Why socks and nurses?” – astute readers already know. It’s because we love feet *record scratch* ……
Okay guys! Pinto taking over here. Ignore all that weird stuff above, Pingu didn’t get far into that Red Bull before getting put in time out. Way too late for a middle schooler to be up.
🤡: Why nurses?
🐲: You can thank ‘Night Nurses from Jersey’ on Cinemax for changing our lives.
🐲: Over the past 4 years, healthcare staff have played a critical role and provided an enormous amount of support in medical facilities across the globe. So we felt a little gift & appreciation note could go a long way. And hey if they’re going to shake it on TikTok, why not do it in Clown socks?
🤡: Okay but why compression socks?
🐲: *laughs* It’s a good question and I’m happy to answer it. Before I do I’m genuinely curious.. why do so many manlets ask that question?
A Day in the Life – Registered Nurse Edition
4:37pm: Alarm blasts on max volume, $FE!N by Travis is the Ringtone (1 tear is shed).
4:45pm: Solana phone rings again. The dream was just too good. Even had an Android there…. Jump into a hot shower to get the blood flow going.
5:30pm: In the kitchen for a big breakfast (since you never know when lunch is). Thank Plato for BowTiedOctopod.
6:15pm: Shift starts at 6:30 so we’re in early prepping patient rooms and running supply checks. Didn't forget my Stanley (cuz Ima hot girl duh) 💁🏻♀️
Check into Nurses’ Station for tonight’s roster. 1 stroke, 2 car accidents, and 1 wild homeless guy…..Great, gonna be one of those nights
Reminder: Stethoscope in the pocket, not around the neck. Ain’t about to be choked out in my own hospital. It’s a jungle out here.
8:30pm: Finished all the prep work so taking a water break. Now I have to decide, do I join the other nurses to make a TikTok or should I try talking to the homeless guy? *2 minutes later*
Turns out he was freebasing ketamine and told me about his adventures building a country for autistic kids 😍
Omg is this Homeless Rizz?!??
10:20pm: We’ve already had 2 new patients come in. Had to use so much gauze and even got blood on my shoes :( At least everyone has been so sweet
11:11pm: Time for a snack. Sike! Homeless guy just reprogrammed the hospital ERP system. Brb!
1:30am: My first bathroom break. Then suddenly…
*CODE RED*
Sonic sprint back to the ICU. See a patient screaming & punching the floor violently….the Homeless guy is filming. What?
Shirt is still on…we’re good!
2:30am: Okay a real emergency. Male, mid 40s, Clownbanker, heart attack. Apparently his finance team thought QoQ meantQ1 ‘23 vs Q1 ‘24. Pray for he/him. IV established. Cords linked to monitors. Suction ambu bags ready. Now just waiting for the “ambalamb”. This is what we were bred for. Hoorah.
4:00am: Taking a breather. This is usually when things start winding down or ramp up. Running final patient checks and saying goodbye to the Homeless guy. He shows me his 3 Cryptopunks and this new mansion he’s thinking about getting.
What? Homeless? Punks & a mansion?
Fun Fact: In New York anyone can get airdropped a free house so long as they successfully fend off police and homeowners for 30 days straight (source)
Retardio 🤡
6:30am: Head home. Logged 4.2 miles on the Whoop. But the day’s not over! Need to put a few hours into my tarot business and read the latest Defi Ed.
Who knew hopping on Discord to talk computer coins with “North Koreans” would be so much fun!
– – – – – – Vlog End – – – – – –
As you see, that’s a non-stop activity for 12-14 hours a day / multiple days a week. Feet and legs are bound to have pain, soreness and even swelling – hence why compression socks are already so popular amongst nurses.
Study listening. Study taking your sister’s friends (nurses) out for lunch & asking them about their day (whilst spitting game of course).
The original “due diligence”.
The Noblesse Oblige Collection
As a reminder, our Noblesse Oblige collection represents the charitable arm of Clownmask troll operations — designed to give back and reward those who make a meaningful impact to society (non-grifters), while simultaneously injecting Clowns in the culture.
Donation Match Policy: For every item purchased, Honk Supply will donate a matching one to support an honorable cause. By offering high quality products that people *actually want* they’re more likely to appreciate and continue using them.
Compare that to the “corporate swag” 1) jackets with no sleeves (aka baddie repellent; aka vests) or 2) t-shirts with a hood….TSHIRTS WITH A HOOD!!!
FFS even the clothes don’t know what garment they identify as. Then they wonder why we hate them. No free advertising here ser!
A Moment of Appreciation: Homeless guy outside the Grand Central would like to thank J.P. Morgan for the generous clothing donation. Thanks to Jamie Dimon, bro is flexing his Patagonia vest on the crew back at his suite in the Roosevelt Hotel.
*Pinto breaks fourth wall*
“Pingu really did that. When they gave him his vest he did that! He took that….he gave the vest. Now you see what kind of troll I have to deal with.”
Now it’s clear meme warfare has been by far the most powerful marketing tool. So getting more people “in the know” is how we’re going to get “Clowns” to blow up. That’s why finding creative ways for everyone to benefit from Clowns’ success is paramount (working on it!).
TLDR: The Noblesse Oblige collection is tasked with creating products enjoyed by both cartoons and the general public, that way we can maximize potential exposure through positive utility. We’re all nodes (some even super nodes) so don’t forget what can happen when incentives are aligned correctly.
For the Cartoon
For active and traveling cartoons, Honk Supply has created a Pack-A-Punched compression sock for you, giving you a customized Clownmask souvenir that’ll have you flexing on TSA & the 11am Equinox escorts.
The infusion of the clown smile and the 2035 reference gives clowns its iconic look and makes them that much more memorable to wear. Do you remember playing Counter Strike when you had your favorite skins? That's HNK compression socks.
The same health benefits apply to cartoons. HNK compression socks apply gentle pressure to your legs, ankles and feet to help improve blood circulation. Perfect for athletic activity, everyday wear and especially air travel :)
Throwback Thursday
For the OGs around, let’s revisit what a former deranged Clownbanker, turned turbo autist (aka Wall Street *MF* Playboys!), had to say about compression socks and its importance to a modern day cartoon. We’ll bold our key takeaways for a TLDR.
“Step 5 – Health: Flying is terrible for your health. Do not be fooled by the “glamour” [saucy Brits] of flying a lot. Anyone who enjoys flying has never really had to fly a lot. The conditions in an airplane are not good as you’re exposed to 1) more bacteria (potential to get sick), 2) cabin pressure which is terrible for blood flow and 3) the dreaded conversation with the person sitting next to you (wish we were kidding, it’s typically terrible).
The first thing is compression arm sleeves and compression socks. If you think we are kidding, we are not. The main problem with flying is that you’re sitting down in a pressurized cabin which restricts blood flow. The reason why people feel terrible (even if they sleep the whole time) after a flight is due to this issue. Your body is not meant to sit down in a pressurized cabin for multiple hours in a row. We recommend getting at least two pairs of each (compression socks or leg sleeves) and compression arm sleeves.”
-- How to Operate in Airports and… An Important Announcement (Wall Street Playboys)
Here’s a comparison of two travel accessories. Can you tell which one helps you fly more comfortably and which one gives girls the “ick”?
Unhinged BowTiedBull on Instagram
Here’s another visual of what your travel preparations could look like, featuring Chad & Steve. Fade at your own risk Anon.
Chad vs. Steve
Product Details / Specifications
- Price – $111 United States Trash Tokens or ~0.031 ETH (at the time of writing)
- Quantity Available – 111 Sock Sets
- Expected Delivery – Q3 2024
- Materials – 70% Nylon, 30% Spandex
- Sizes Available – 1) SM-M or 2) L-XL
*Most XX will fit Size SM-M.
*XY (excluding manlets) will fit Size L-XL.
- Care Instructions – Wash Inside Out and Air Dry
- Compression – 25-35 mmHG (Moderate), Reinforced Toe & Heel
- Construction Technique – Woven (Not Printed)
Sock Label
The End
Well that’s all for now folks. If you made it to the end – Congrats! – you’re 1000% mentally insane. (Like us) 😂
Let us know if this level of autism is enough or if we need to dial up our weekly kimchi injections (yes kimchi is a PED that further enhances the effects of Morgan Juice for Korean cartoons).
In all seriousness, we hope you enjoyed it. With all the crazy stuff happening daily, we’d be incredibly happy if we could help give you some entertainment and a solid laugh. Calling all Chads….let’s cure the clown world with Clowns.
Jungle: As tribute to the BowTied enterprise, Honk Supply will donate [redacted]% earnings to the Jungle Treasury for community development.
Make sure to reserve your pair while quantities are available. It is a pleasure trolling with you.
